What a Real Church Looks Like

Today I didn't go to church, I was with the church.  

My two friends and I walked into a pretty run down building this morning. The air that filled the place reeked of smoke. The people were wearing clothes that I would sleep in. Many of them were filthy, several of them were homeless, and quite a few were either addicts or recovering addicts. The worship band is a group of six 50+ year olds, with one woman signing every word to every song. It was not the best sound I had ever heard, yet it was. A young man was baptized. The second he came up from the water, the whole place went nuts. If my eyes would have been closed, I would have guessed I was at a concert .Screaming, shouting, yelling, singing, praising God for our new brother in Christ. There was dancing in the isles. People next to me and my friends unashamedly telling us their stories. An old man in front of us struggled to get to his seat because he only had one arm and one leg which was in pretty bad shape. There was a man behind us who brought his own tambourine. He didn't play it to the same beat as the songs, but nobody cared. I look around me as my eyes and heart were overwhelmed with the amount of people that did't have a seat. But it didn't seem to bother anybody. This little building was packed with broken, sinful screw-ups. I was one of them, and I've never felt more at home. Nobody put up a front and made it seem like they had it all together. They were proud of not who they were, but who they had in them. I looked down at what I was wearing and suddenly I was the outcast. The pastor was a recovering alcoholic and interrupted himself several times reminding us he struggled with that. He didn't preach about money or marriage. He preached so that if any unbeliever was there, they knew exactly who Jesus was by the end of it. He took us through several scriptures and walked us through them instead of talking at us about them. "Amens" and "hallelujahs" were shouted from every angle of the room more often than not. I found it easier worshipping with people who knew they were sinners. They proudly wore the title on their forehead, and yet I saw Jesus in them more than those who go to church and claim to have it all together. This was the first church I have found to be living proof of the body of Christ. 

The church is the people, not the building. 

We Are Dust

Genesis 3:19 "...You are dust, and when you die, you will return to the dust."

Do you remember what it was like being a part of the dust? Do you remember if it was a really good time? Do you remember anything about it? Of course not! Then why do we focus so much on the earthly things when we are guaranteed we cannot take anything of that sort with us?

Many ideas come to my mind when I think about "earthly things", such as sports. We train and train for big games and it eventually takes over our entire being if we aren't careful. Then you finally win that huge trophy and for the rest of your life you don't let anyone forget. It's at the center of your world. Then somehow, the Lord decides your time is up on the earth. And like he promised, you returned to the dust. Whether your body has become one with the ground or your spirit is doing its thing in heaven, I guarantee that you won't be thinking, "Man, I wish I would have spent just a little more time with that trophy." Or, "I really hope everyone remembers that I was a part of the huge win." And if you do find yourself thinking that, then you're more than likely not dead yet.

It just baffles me that we know what is ultimately more important, but we still train with the earth as if we were on it's team. I'll let you in on a little secret that might shock some of you...the world WILL end. It's just as much a promise and guarantee as it is accepting Jesus will get you to heaven. Stop living with a first person mind set, meaning "What do I want; How will that affect me; What will I get out of it." Instead, live with a second person mind set: "Lord, what do you want; How can I glorify your name in this situation."

So train your spirit. It is the only thing you can take in the end. And the end is forever. So train it well.

1 John 2:17 "The world and everything that people want in it are passing away, but the person who does what God wants lives forever."

Do you know Jesus or do you know about him?

There was a Pharisee named Simon during the time of Jesus. This Simon was different from the disciple Simon Peter. This pharisee invited Jesus into his home for a meal. First-century Middle East etiquette involved washing of the guest's feet. The washing of the feet was mandatory before eating a meal. If you wanted to honor your guest then you would do it yourself. But if not, then you would ask your servant to wash the feet. But at the very least, you would get a bucket of water and ask the guest to do it themselves. There were a couple other hospitable gestures when having a guest in your house. However, when Jesus went to Simon's house, there was no washing of feet or any other gesture. This is the equivalent to openly ignoring your guest. Jesus was ignored and insulted.

In the book I'm reading, called Not a Fan, Kyle Idleman says, "Don't miss the irony of this moment. Simon has spent his life studying the Scriptures. By the time he was 12 he had the first 12 books of the Bible memorized. By the time he was 15 he had memorized the entire Old Testament. He had committed to memory the more than 300 prophecies about the coming Messiah. Yet he doesn't realize it is the Messiah who now sits at his table with a hand that hasn't been kissed, feet that haven't been washed, and a head that hasn't been anointed. He knew all about Jesus, but he didn't know Jesus."

We get so obsessed with memorizing Scripture that we totally miss why we're doing it in the first place. How can you get to know someone if you never communicate with them? Don't read to become knowledgable for your own good. Read so you can be ready to wash Jesus' feet.

Confidently Unsure

Am I not loyal? Am I not good? Am I not pure?
Do I even hold the lamp that you offer to give light?
I need to be reassured.
Am I doing anything right?
I need feedback, why don't I hear from you?
I feel like I'm pulling all the weight, but I know that's not true.
You test those who do right.
But am I even worthy of a test?
Am I even pleasing in your sight?
God, my mind needs rest.
I'm constantly at battle,
And I can finally see the shore.
But I cannot find the paddle as I hear the waves roar.
Breathe, and send the wind.
Guide me to land.
Give me the faith to know
That simply believing is all you demand.

Little Joseph...

It has to be dark before the sun can rise
But even then the brightest stars can shine.
All that people say is "Hard times make you tougher"
But listen, the Lord defends those who suffer.
Little do they know He will pull you out of the rubble
And they forgot to mention He defends you in times of trouble.
But don't worry, I will tell you the great things of Him
He always provides a light, even when it seems dim.
He does not forget your cries, and He listens when you pray
Even the sun needs help reaching the skies
It is for you alone He has made this day.
You are precious to Him, He honors you and loves you
He has written your name on His hand, and it's something he will never undo.

Swimming to Jesus

Basketball season ended last night on March 15. Tonight, I was sitting at my desk. I was looking around the area and came across my God Box that I had made at the beginning of the year. A God Box can be made of anything, and the point of it is to write down your worries or prayer requests and put it in the box. And as soon as you let go of that piece of paper, you let go of your burdens. So I started going through it (noticing that all of them were from August), finding little slips of paper saying, "Give me the strength to get through workouts"; "Use me to transform this team into disciplined disciples of Jesus"; "Your are in control. Transform this team. Our hearts and minds, let them  be in your care"; "I want to pray to you with confidence. Without worry. It is you who is in control." But then I picked out a normal sized piece of paper, that was bulky from being folded so many times, with many questions on it. They were listed: How many times have you showed up and I didn't recognize you?, Why is it easier for you to look past my failures instead of me?, Why do I forget about your unending love?, How come I depend on myself even when I know you are my only source of help?, Why do I delay our communication everyday?, Why do I sacrifice my day by not starting it off with you?, Why can't I accept that you are my greatest encourager?, Why do I let my mind limit who you really are?, Why am I too lazy to pray to you when I know it will fill me up? But the last question I stumbled on. "Why don't I swim to you?" When I first read it I became really confused. Swim? What? Then, I remembered.

In John 21, the story of Jesus appearing to seven of his followers explains that question. Peter and some of the other disciples went out fishing and caught nothing. The next morning, Jesus stood on the shore, but the followers did not know it was him, and he asked if they caught any fish. They said no, and Jesus told them to throw their net on the right side of the boat and they would catch some. So they did, and they caught so many fish they couldn't even pull the net back into the boat. I'm sure most of you have heard this story before, but here is the best part that is always overlooked: One of the followers told Peter that the man on the shore was Jesus, and when Peter heard this, he took off his clothes and JUMPED INTO THE WATER. The boat was not far from the shore, so the other disciples just paddled to it. If Peter would have stayed in the boat like everyone else, he would have gotten there in no time. But that didn't matter to him. The second he realized it was Jesus he dropped everything and did whatever it took to get to him. 

So where am I in this story? Where are you? Are we paddling to shore, getting to Jesus on our own time? Or are we dropping everything, jumping out of the boat and swimming to Jesus? 

Happily His

I forget that I come from You,
that I'm here for You.
I take matters into my own hands.
I forget that I was made for You,
specially designed for You.
So the trench of loneliness expands.

I am reminded of these forgetful things,
but it's never the easy way.
It takes several days of an empty purpose
Until I fall on my knees to pray.

Very slowly it sets in
that I'm happier now than where I began.
Because it's good news that I can't do anything myself,
And it's bad news every time I think I can.

I exist because You will that I exist.
You have not left me in the dark to wonder and guess.

So will I believe even when I can't see?
And when I see, will I believe?
Following You means going the extra length.
Faith isn't ignoring my weakness.
Faith is trusting Your strength.

Staying Patient

I was getting very frustrated with my dreams not looking like they were going to come true. My heart has been so dead set on serving for years. So why haven't I been given more opportunities? I was so angry and upset, I came very close to throwing in the towel. At one point I remember thinking, "Is it even worth it, serving God even though I don't get to do what I've been dreaming about forever?" A couple nights later I went to a bible study, and it wasn't until after the actual lesson that my heart was reassured.

I was talking to my friend, Kevin, about my struggles. I told him about all the plans and visions I had that had yet to work out. I was growing in frustration as I continued to let out all of the disappointment that was once an invincible dream. After talking to Kevin, he asked me if I was familiar with the story of David. I told him I knew the "David and Goliath story" and how, much later, he got into some "trouble". But that's not the answer he was looking for. So he told me to open up 1 Samuel 16 and 17. In chapter 16, David gets anointed as king. Now lets step back for a second. If you were anointed as king or queen, you would expect to do some legit, powerful stuff. Like, hold a huge feast or travel the land and command people to do crazy things. Well, this was definitely not the case for David. Not too long after David became king, he was sent to play the harp in Saul's court. David was very good at playing the harp, and he was told to go play it because Saul had been rejected by God as Israel's king and was being tormented by a spirit from God that filled him with fear and depression. So David played to make him feel better.

During this time, David's three oldest brothers stayed with Saul's army to fight the Philistines, but he went back and forth so he could help his father with the sheep in Bethlehem. So now, not only did David have to go immediately play the harp for a living just so Saul could feel better, but he also had to take care of the sheep! But wait a second. Isn't this guy king? And he spends his life working? There's a reason for everything, right?

Later on, King David's father sent him to take food to his brothers, who were with Saul and the Israelite army fighting against the Philistines. When he was talking to his brothers, Goliath came out from the ranks shouting and taunting Israel's army. As soon as they would see Goliath, they would run away in fright. But little bitty King David goes and tells Saul that he will fight him. Saul thinks he's being ridiculous, but David replies with this: "I have been taking care of my father's sheep and goats. When a lion or bear comes to steal a lamb from the flock, I go after it with a club and rescue the lamb from its mouth. If the animal turns on me, I catch it by the jaw and club it to death. I have done this to both lions and bears, and I'll do it to this pagan Philistine, too, for he has defied the armies of the living God! The Lord who rescued me from the claws of the lion and the bear will rescue me from this Philistine!"

We all know the rest of the story. King David kills Goliath with just one stone. But that's not the point I'm trying to make. The point is that David was anointed king. He was destined to do great things. But he spent time playing the harp for Saul and taking care of his father's sheep. And even though it was probably the most boring, pointless lifestyle a king could ever have, it prepared him for what was to come. Kevin helped me realize that I am at that point in my life right now. Though it seems like I'm doing nothing at the moment, the tiniest things could be preparing me for the biggest battle I could ever face. I have become much more grateful for the moments that seem "boring". My dreams are once again burning with desire to achieve them. And now I'm just waiting for my turn to rise up.

2 Timothy hurts me

I thought I was doing it right.
Have you been glorified at all?
Why has it taken me this long
to realize my faith is so small?

If I could just talk to you for a minute.
I need to know how I'm doing.
Has my heart even been in it?
What exactly was I pursuing?

You know those who belong to you
and I question if that's me.
If I want to be yours I must stop doing wrong
but God, I'm drowning in a sinful sea.

Am I being used for special purposes?
Or was I made for just an ordinary job?
I want to be made holy, useful to the Master,
Ready to do any good work even though I'm such a slob.



But all of these doubts are overcome by something greater:

You will answer before I even call to you.
While I am still talking about my needs,
you will go ahead and answer my prayers, too. (Isaiah 65:24)

Psalm 69

Save me, the water is rising.
I'm sinking down into the mud
And there is nothing to stand on.
I'm in deep, and the flood covers me.
I'm tired from calling for help.
Won't you help?

You know what I've done wrong
How I blame my bad days on you.
But how can you love me still?
My guilt cannot hide from you.

But I pray to you, God, for favor.
Answer me with your great love.
You are truly able to save
So pull me from the grave.
Jerk me from the mud and do not let me sink.
Command the waters and don't let the flood drown me.

Do not hide from me.
Come near and save me.
I am defeated and helpless.
Deliver and protect me.

I feel like giving up, but there's one thing I know.
You listen to those in need
And you do not overlook the enslaved.
The captives are free, I am free.
Heaven and earth shall praise him.
The seas and everything in them.

I now stand above the waters.
He has saved me, you have saved me.